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It all began the moment I decided that no amount of work would be enough, so I slipped my autopilot pattern of self sabotage and back to being the workaholic. I informed my business partner that I would be working from home for a few days, climbed into bed and forced myself to churn out an unrealistic amount of writing.  I forgot my beliefs and let my foundation waver, as I slipped into the fear based space of thinking that hard work makes money, when I actually believe that passion is all I ever need. Read the rest of this entry »

Really just friends?

At my last morning get together with my girlfriends the topic swayed between a few hair-raising  online dating experiences, some relationship issues, our gratitude for the invention of laser hair removal and my friend with benefits.
Us girls meet about once every two months and the topic of my casual relationship with my friend always arises with the same questions hovering between concern, disapproval and support. Granted, girls tell each other way more than we should and they don’t like his reasons for not wanting a relationship with me. To be equally fair, my ‘friend’ isn’t what I’m looking for in a life partner either. He has grown to be a dear friend, companion and lover but the ingredients that are missing aren’t strong enough to tear us apart or pull us closer together either.

To be a couple and sustain a committed relationship you need to have the vital ingredients: Chemistry, Commitment and Communication (which I call the 3 C’s).
He and I have the chemistry and the communication, which is good enough to be friends, but the commitment to what we want out of a relationship isn’t there. Life doesn’t have to be all or nothing but if you can’t both agree on what the 3 C’s mean to you then your foundation of the conventional ‘couple’ might not be as solid as you think. If there is one C that outweighs the other then why not make that relationship work around it. Read the rest of this entry »

The majority of us have a relationship with our physical bodies that is riddles with wishes of change and unsatisfied glances in the mirror. Those unsatisfactory feelings towards our bodies makes a direct impact on how we share ourselves with others.
Inhibitions, poor body image and low self esteem are the passion killers of modern society and the saddest realisation is that it is totally self inflicted. No one gives you body issues unless you allow them to and no one makes you feel better about your body without your consent either. Before you can choose to enjoy the act of sex and revel in its abundant pleasures it gives your body, you have to allow your body the opportunity to let go of all inhibitions. No one with body issues has the ability to do that. Read the rest of this entry »

I come from a past that was adorned with money issues and financial strain and I cannot say that I am still not riddles with my own perception of ‘financial crisis’.
Over time, the vastest difference I can see in my financial status is how I deal with money and not how much more of it I have.
What have I done differently? I’ve simply stopped dealing with money as a financial crisis. Actually, I’ve stopped focusing on money completely.

My pattern used to be one of diving into the financial issue and working on the numbers, rehashing the budgets and thinking of better and smarter ways to make money. Read the rest of this entry »

The hype of the world cup is slowly beginning to settle and the question on everyone’s lips is ‘what will your remember from the 2010 soccer world cup?’
There is a whole lot of vuvuzela talk and even more surprise at just how well South Africa did. Yet my memory will be one of a great lesson about ‘failure’. Sitting at the opening game of the world cup amongst nearly 90 000 people will always be a special memory to me.  Yet all the mayhem and hype of soccer fever is totally eclipsed by the moment I realised that the stranger sitting next to me was not destined to be stranger. Read the rest of this entry »

Every profession is born from realising the need that a person is unable to fulfill themselves. It is acknowledging someone’s ‘pain’ and determining what you have to offer them that they are not able to provide from the resources that they have.
Doctors, lawyers, computer technicians … they all began the same way. They took talents that they had and mastered it in order to ease the pain of those who did not have the same abilities.
There is no difference with the life coach. If ever there has been a ‘pain’ it has been an individual’s inability to bring their dreams into fruition and find the answers to life. It’s a huge ‘pain’ to ease and it does not take away from the skill of the life coach. Read the rest of this entry »

I just got off the phone with a friend of mine who responded to my asking him how is day is as: “surviving”. My definition of survival and his might be totally different, but in my perception surviving something is a truly huge feat and one that I would be damn proud of. For him, however, he was no more eager to be at work than to socialise with friends or attempt to find one reason to be happy. He told me he has officially taken himself off the dating market because no women would want to be with a failure. Read the rest of this entry »

I trust you with my truth

Communication is one of the most important aspects of a healthy and fulfilling relationship, yet as lovers the one topic that is not discussed enough is your sex life.  A common problem is the misconception that you should merely know your partner’s desires and dislikes merely because you have a bond. You battle to know yourself, yet you place unnecessary pressure on each other with the expectation of knowing without communication. Sex is many things, but should mostly be fun and satisfying. It needs to be as lasting as a relationship and constantly rekindled, and there is no greater tool than  open and honest communication that is as passionate as your desired sex life. Read the rest of this entry »

I’m not one for deleting anything I write or create, even if I might never have use for it as a writer. Today I was thinking about how it all began and remembered the first piece I ever wrote. We had done the basics of writing, including dialogue, tense, character and plot. Now the task was to write about something that we had not witness, but had experienced. It was tough, but I chose to write about a very dear friend of mine and the story as told my his mother.

This was the day I realised I was a writer:

Read the rest of this entry »

The only thing you are doing wrong is expecting any of this work to make life easier, take away suffering or exempt you from pain.  The misconception of any spiritual work is the ease with which your life will flow if you choose an alternate way of thinking or living.  All of the tools from religion to spirituality are meant to lay the foundation of your belief system and build your strength in that very system so that when pain and suffering emerge, you are not afraid. Read the rest of this entry »