Hi there

In a couple of days, it will be six months since my father ended his long and brave battle with emphysema.  As time passes it becomes harder to remember the sound of his voice, the twinkle he had in his big blue eyes or the way he used to grind his jaw when he was irritated.  I spend so much time encouraging my mother to remember him before his illness and beyond the frail individual that he became. Yet, secretly I cannot get the last day of my father's life out of my mind.  As much as I try to think back on his healthy days, I keep returning to his bedside and the two special moments we shared.

I always told my dad that he taught me two lessons that were more important than any other gift he gave me throughout my life.  However, until last night I had never truly used or understood his teachings. It is easy to say that you admire someone because they lead by example, but to follow that example and breathe life into it so that it enriches your journey, is a great feat.

My father taught me these two things:

Never give up on your dreams;

Fight for what you want.

And in the moments when any minute could have been the last, he made sure that he imprinted those two lessons in my heart.  I wonder if he knew they would emerge as a life changing realisation months down the line?

My father knew what he wanted and for as long as I can remember, he got it too.  No matter what it was in his life, he focused on his goal without compromise.  His last request went against the wishes of the nurses as well as his physical abilities, yet, on numerous occasions, through a state of delusion and an oxygen mask, he asked to get out of the bed for a few moments. Of course the nursing staff would not hear of his request and the more they said no, the more he argued. 

When I was called to his bedside, I was convinced he was so delirious that it could have been any of his five children he requested to see.  I was wrong! My father wanted me.  He told me of his request and I had the same reaction as the team of caregivers around him.  I leaned close to him and told him it was not a good idea at all.  Even though it was simply to move from the bed for the shortest time, it was physically impossible for him.  As I began to argue with him, he lifted his once strong hand and pointed a finger at me.  I had to lean further in to hear what he was saying and needed him to repeat it a few times before I could understand. 

"I need you to listen to me" he whispered "I called you because you are the only one who has ever listened to me".  

Each of my precious siblings had their own magical bond with our dad, but the way in which he said that defined our connection.  I appreciated the odd things my father ate, the mad quantity with which he catered or purchased things and his off the wall ideas and dreams that he had.  Yes, I agreed with the rest of my siblings that they were a little crazy sometimes, yet when we spoke, I always accepted them as his truth and his reality and in return, my father had the same respect for me.  He would clench his jaw and I would roll my eyes, yet we always listened to each other.  Within ten minutes, I ensured that my father's wish was granted by the matron.   

My last private moment was a conversation that wrenched at my heart for the lie I had to tell him.  Once again, leaning in to understand what he was trying to say, I fought back the tears that might have fallen and wet his cheek as I listened intently.

"Ten days" he said "We have to count down so I am home in ten days".  That would have been the beginning of the Jewish New Year celebration and I knew he would have wanted to be home for that.

"Alright daddy, this is day ten, right?"

He looked right through me in his delirious state and nodded.

"So the countdown has begun? You are gonna fight really hard to get better and be home in ten days?"

Once again, he nodded.

When I said good night to him a few hours later, I said it with the knowing that he would leave this life with the fighting spirit he instilled in me.  On the morning of day nine he peacefully slipped away.

"Listen to me. You have always listened to me".

That sentence has played over in my head, no matter my attempts to stop the churning of his words.  What was it about listening to my father that I had been missing? What if it was just an obsessive hanging on to the last moments we had together? It could have been had I not had this profound realisation: My father always dreamed and the dreams were big.  Some of them he did not get to fulfil.  However, I do not think it mattered one bit to him because every day he lived as if he would see them come to life.  As far back as I can remember, we always spoke of my dad as someone who lived his dreams. Lived his dreams - did not necessarily reach them - but he lived them, with all his heart, his soul and his passion.  His dreams, not anybody else's. Believe me when I say that countless individuals tried to tell him what he set out to achieve was impossible and some of them were. But not to him.  I believe that is what kept my father bravely fighting till the end and I also believe that is why he had such a simple and peaceful passing.

So, what did I realise that was so profound it would change my perception of my hopes and dreams for eternity? 

I realised this: My father whispered to me that he wanted to be home in ten days.  He was a man of tradition and had a firm belief in the Jewish laws and ways.  Even though I have found my own path, I have the utmost respect for the beliefs that my father held dear to his heart.  My father would have believed that upon a Soul's departure from this physical world, it would take seven days to reach "home" from the time of burial.  He left us on a Friday and was unable to be buried, according to Jewish law, until the Sunday.  There is a window of 7 days of mourning and according to the beliefs of my precious father, he would have returned "home" the day that mourning period ended.

Max Shaer, my ever dreaming father, made his dream a reality and was home in ten days.

Yesterday I wept when I finally honoured his request and LISTENED.

And now, I ask you to listen to my father too: No matter what anybody in this life tells you, do not give up on your dreams.  Even if the world says they are unobtainable.  Even if, in reality, they are unobtainable.  More importantly, do not stop living as if that dream is yours for the taking.  Wake up every day and take one step closer to it, despite your ability to see any evidence that what you are doing is getting you there.  No matter what, you are dreaming and you are walking and you are never giving up on yourself. 

I am writing my first novel.  Yes, I put it down and tried to forget about it because it was too frightening to complete and because the thought of the publishing process was horrifically described to me by numerous people, but that is not what my father taught me.  He taught me to keep writing, not for anybody else, but for me.  And when the writing is complete I will edit that story, not for anyone else but me. When that is complete I will go on a life journey to have that story published and I will not stop dreaming until it is.  This, however, is the true reason why my father begged me to listen.

That story might never get published, but I will not leave this lifetime believing that for a moment.  I will fight till the bitter end for that dream and for all the rest of the dreams I have, so that at the end of my days I know this: I never gave up on myself and because I lived every day dreaming of greatness, success and accomplishment, I lived a great, successful and accomplished life.

Maybe, beyond our physical and material needs, we do all reach our dreams in the end ... my father did.

Contemplate this ...

Please watch our YouTube video to contemplate this: The dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true.

Law of attraction: Assistance with "Thanks to the Universe I'm all F 'ed up"

On living every day dreaming

If you have chosen to follow my teachings, then you too are of the firm belief that there is more to achieving that material or physical accomplishment.  Yes, it is vital, but it is not about the possession as much as the journey and the joy that accompanies it.  I have spoken of my want for fame, recognition and wealth, yet I have never not accompanied it with my true desire of fulfilment, joy and happiness.  You cannot possess the three latter desires, you can only experience them.  How do you have fulfilment?  You have what you wish for in the material world, which in turn gives you a sense of fulfilment.  The same goes for joy and for happiness.  So, in essence, you would need to wait for your dreams of material or physical possessions to manifest in order to have achieved that dream, BUT, the same does not go for your experiences of joy, fulfilment and happiness.

Dream, every day, of the physical and the material, because they truly will give you many gifts within this human experience.  But live, every day, in the experiences of fulfilment and the other desires that you cannot possess. Dreams are fruitless if you do not know how to experience them if and when they arrive.  And whether they do or do not, it will make little difference when you find yourself so emerged in the experience of feeling alive and truly living.

Talk to me about the law of attraction and the processes of thought before form and I bet you will be sitting in your dream house with your dream life when you do.  Hope I can make it, I might be at a book signing...

Try this exercise for a few week...

Choose a dream that you truly wish to achieve and do something, anything, to get one step closer to fulfilling it.  If it is one that you have forgotten about, then begin by simply making a list of what you would have to do to bring it back to life.  Do a touch of research a day or decide to tell one person about it to bring it to life. 

At the end of the day, however, that is where the experience of dreaming comes alive.  Before you sleep, look back on your dream and the one little thing you did to keep it within your reach.  I do not care if you do not feel any closer after months, as long as, at the end of every day, you know you did something to keep that dream alive so that the feeling of joy, fulfilment and happiness can ignite like a flame within your being.

Remember this:

The Universe rewards bravery ... no one said it is not going to be laced with obstacles and fears, but when you manifest that dream, that is what will give you the sense of achievement.  Not the possession, but the experience.

Please, contact me whenever you are not feeling brave and I will encourage you to dream on, because it is so worth facing the fears for.

P.S. ... I am just as petrified as you!  However, I have six chapters to go! Where are you? 

The world of social networking

In my endeavour to live my dreams, I had to face my fears of marketing myself.   Taking responsibility for my own success frightens me and if I had a magic wand I would simply hire a PR person who would do all the work for me.

Today, your website is the greatest media tool and in order to use it to the fullest, processes such as 'search engine optimisation' and 'social networking' are a must.

In a few weeks I have learned that there are incredible people in this world who help strangers succeed. I met two such an individuals via twitter, with services that have helped our website grow in such a short time.

Flash Mallach, of virtual edge, who focuses on virtual events, meetings and communities.  Flash has a personal, which restored my faith in man.  He wants to go to India and just as I have been talking about dreams, he intends to make his dream come true. How?  By using the social network called chip.in in which people a can ask for financial support no matter the cause.  If this site does help you raise funds, please give something back to Flash because that is what social networking is about after all.

Gareth Daine has a passion for social networking and has a wealth of knowledge to share about increasing your social networking.  He has a newsletter that is sure to benefit you in endeavour to grow your visibility on the net.

Thank you both, your time, patience and expertise have been invaluable.

Greg's view on the world

If one day you should find yourself standing on the edge of a cliff asking yourself how you got to this point and why it is that you are thinking of jumping, what would be your response? "My dreams never entered my reality and so there was nothing to live for"? We all go through stages of frustration and pointlessness. I can see you nodding. But do you understand why, when all around you everything appears the same? That is exactly it: everything is the same and that is what is frustrating. In order for the reality to be the dream, we need to allow the change. And sometimes all that is required is that we let go of the old reality so that the change can happen.

Look at the world from your own paradigm - change is what happens when no one is looking. Because at that point, no one is holding on to the past out of fear. No one is sufficiently focussed to fear. Fear resides in the head - it is our own mental creation. Distract it and the change will happen such that we arrive at the other side quite bewildered as to how we got there.

And so the generations renew the planet through change. The young do not like the way of the elderly and the elderly do not like what the youth get up to. The reason is to affect change. Fears are still transferred from one generation to the next; pointless, irrational fears. Pointless and irrational because they were created and owned by the generation before and so do not belong. Yet we, because of our own fear, choose to hang on to these fears and this is what is called the 'collective unconscious', the great energy grid that connects us all (see the hundredth monkey syndrome). Yet, that collective unconscious serves a positive purpose too as everything in this world is neutral: it mirrors your fears in order for you to see them. We would not be able to see what we looked like if there was nothing to reflect us and so we would find it very difficult to drop all our illusions if we had nothing to show us what they are. And life can be an illusion, lived in the head with very little truth but then lies are what we will attract.

Be strong and look in the mirror that is your world and you will see what you are holding on to. Drop all that and you will live your dream. If we all do that then the planet will live its dream too.

Happy cow

Both positive Pete and myself agree that staying happy and motivated is extremely frustrating, especially when we feel so unsupported by the Universe.  Happy cow is the perfect remedy for any time that the confidence wavers.  The site is filled with inspiration, insight, motivation and things that just make you ... happy!

Here's to your dreams

Jodene & Greg