Hi there

So you think once you tell yourself the truth about who you are and affirm to the Universe (remembering you are the Universe) and yourself that you are not changing for anyone ... you think that's going to make the next situation easier or that you'll get it right.

Yes, so did I!! 

I've decided to write this newsletter at 3:55am on the morning of my crushed spirit and my emotional turmoil.  Why not? Nothing will be clearer than what I'm feeling at this very moment, even though outside it's covered in darkness.

Last month I shared my story of the realisation I had that the heart doesn't crumble with the scars we allow someone to etch into us, yet the story has a river of history that flows beneath it:  one of repetition, intense frustration and the fear of loneliness. 

I don't know when I realised I was unique and that I was born to live fearlessly, truthfully and completely in love with life.  I DO know when I began to resist it though and when I began to fight against my true self and deny my life purpose. I do know that each man I let into my life holds the ugly mirror of reality up for me.  The first man I loved said it, the man who ran in last month's story said it, the man who ran last month said it, the man who ran this morning said it ... "You are too good for me".

So, what is the lesson each man is trying to show me?  That I am too good and I need to change my values, my passion with which I approach life, my fearless approach to love or my unconditional care for them and everyone I meet?  It's tempting ... trust me ... especially with this one.

So you think if you tell yourself the truth about who you are ... the next situation will be easier, go your way, not break your heart?  ... So did I ...

No, I'm sorry.  Trust me when I tell you how very sorry I am.  It works in the absolute reverse!  Telling yourself the truth of who you are and living in pure accordance to your highest esteem and the rhythm of your own heart narrows your chances of being sucked into the collective unconscious of the multitudes of unhealed individuals, leaving you with the slimmest chance of choosing the easy path.

Don't limit this lesson to love, I beg of you ... don't pity me and think that you don't need this lesson.  It impacts your very being ... it could be suffocating your career, your imagination, your financial status, your very hopes and dreams.  If you have changed because history has proved to you that standing in your truth is a harsh and lonely place to be, then you are standing in the same dark night with me.  However, if you refuse to make that change and believe so much in who you are; if you are willing to repeat and repeat the pattern until it makes you the unwavering master of your life ... only then will you have noticed the illuminating light of the moon that shines just enough so you are able to see yourself through the darkness.

In the fullness of the moon I cannot deny that it must be difficult to love me, not impossible, and certainly not anything a person of low self esteem could manage. Can you relate?  When friends, business relations, family ... when they need you to change because they cannot rise to the level of deserving you have?  Or, have you changed so much for them that you don't have a clue what I'm on about?

Standing in the darkness of the early morning, wrapped in fear and shivering in the cold air of reality ... I am so tempted to change just so the next one won't run using the very same line.  Standing in the light of the moon, wrapped in a glow and warmed by my truth ... there can be a hundred more, using the same line ... I am not looking for a hundred ... I am looking for one!  The one that says "You are so good for me".  And if I were to hear that rolling off the lips of every man I met, I would be doing something very wrong.  I would not be living in my truth, because I would be hovering in that very collective unconscious I was born to stand apart from.

So, what is the point of the repetitive pattern?  When does it stop so you can revel in your own truth?  When does the one come along who doesn't want to change you? When does your ship sail in??

When you have built up your guardian of truth in a foundation so strong that no tornado or words, actions or failures could move an inch of you.  The first time I heard it, I begged and swore to him I would change.  The next few times I tried to change. The one in the story gave me the first bit of strength not to change.  The next one tempted me to change yet again.  This one gave the first glimmer of my highest esteem, because there is nothing to change, no one else to be ... no one worth changing for.

And if I think telling myself this truth will make the next one the right one ... I need to think again ... because I don't know when the foundation will be strong enough.  I don't know if I'll care for the next one more and be shattered by the very same words I am so tired of hearing.  I do know this though: you and I are magical beings who are not part of the collective unconscious of losing ourselves and our dreams in order to fit in or not feel the loneliness.  You and I are brave enough to ride out the missed opportunities while searching for the dream, the fulfilment, the happiness ... or the one!!!  You and I both know that if we change one thing about ourselves in order to make this life journey easier, we may as well not be journeying at all ... because we are not on our path anyway. 

When you wake up and realise that you, and only you, are on the path that leads to your happiness, then you will begin to notice the others who walk along their own paths, adjacent to yours.

Don't get off your path, don't be afraid of the silence when you don't see another path alongside your own, don't panic when the path leads you into unknown twists and turns ... just keep walking until you find yourself alongside another whose path looks so much like yours.  And then just keep walking, side by side ... until the blur of separation adjusts your vision and you are one:  one with your dreams, your happiness, your wealth, your career, your friends ... your loved one!!!!

So ... you think when you tell yourself the truth, your next experience will be easier ... the sun has just risen for me and washed away all the darkness ... so I'm guessing your answer should be ... YES!!!!

Personal Development Seminars, courses and lectures

Please contact me if you are interested in any of the courses, including the one below.

Dealing with the collective unconscious of the opposite sex

It is a natural instinct to change in order to hold onto the person you want so desperately to be the "one".  Without understanding the collective unconscious of the opposite sex, many of you lose yourselves in an attempt to find love.  Spend a champagne breakfast morning with me @ "The Rosebank" hotel as I unravel the mystery. 

Cost is R225 on November 1st @ 9am.  Couples cost R195 each.

Please book early by contacting me via email.   

Contemplate this ...

When the patterns repeat themselves, stop trying to work out what you should change and focus on the foundation that is unwavering within you

Law of Attraction: Assistance with "Thanks to the Universe I'm all 'F 'ed' up"

On standing as an individual ...

It's not called the rat race or general population for nothing.  It's designed to do that, for the safety of all those individuals who are too afraid to stand up to their own truth.  The key to this journey is held so much in the ability to stand alone within the masses and not fear being different.  The general population don't know what to do with different, they banish different.  Yet each person, whether they like to see it within themselves or not, is completely different from the next person.  They are an individual anyway.  There is actually nothing to fight, nothing to be afraid of, nothing to try to discover within themselves.  The fight is the complete opposite ... everyone is fighting to be the same.  Don't fool yourself that you are fighting to be an individual or different ... you just are.

Try this for a week ...

Work out why you are fighting so hard to hide your individuality and fit into the complete illusion of a collective world.  It is impossible for it to exist if each one just lives their truth and their uniqueness without fearing the consequences ... you never know ... you might just find greatness.

Greg's View on the World

This had to be one of the most difficult newsletters for me to write.  I can't tell you why. I can't explain the place I am in. All I know is that there has been a block to writing for a month now.

My life has taken such an unexpected turn - I now understand why one needs to form your own view on the world.  Living your life following the expectations of others is unsatisfying and leaves you filled with resentment. Yet living your own life - experiencing it through your own eyes, formed by your own experiences, is invigorating and inspirational to others.  However, this can lead to a lonely existence because others may struggle to relate to you.  The foreignness of what you are saying may drive them away.  But the intrigue may pull them back. No one can truly resist the truth. We may die trying but it always comes out.

If you had to take this particular slice of time and space and be able to keep it forever, would it be a prize possession? Would it be something that you would be proud of? Would you be able to look at it with immense admiration and boast about it to friends? If not, then what are you doing? Why sit in moments that are not serving you...not taking you towards happiness?  We all want happiness but do not want to do anything about it. We all want peace and quiet. We all want to understand why some children appear to have it easy while others seem to struggle all their lives.  Why is that? Choice.  We can choose to be happy.  We can choose to have writer's block or we can choose not to. We can choose to live in our truth and be different. Or we can choose to fit into a crowd whom we don't truly know.

Who are you?  Why are you making life so difficult?  Detach from the drama, have a blast, and remember to ask yourself, "what if this is the one moment that I get to take with me?". Would you want to take it?

Dedication to my dad

After a brave fight, my father finally decided to rest his weary body on the morning of September 19th. 

My farewell and the build up to his death solidified by belief system and my faith like never before and I truly have my father to thank for that.

He always had his hands full with me, yet it never stopped me from sharing my truth with him.  Sometimes he would grind his jaw in disapproval and other times he would laugh me off as his flighty daughter, but through it all, I kept nothing from him.  Today I am so proud of that fact, knowing that I was born different and on my journey to find my own truth.  My father knew all, respected all of it and unconsciously felt the crystals placed at the foot of his bed on his last days.  He knew of my celebration of life and my understanding of the journey of the soul.  That is why I was not surprised at the final moment I spent with the man who taught me how to love unconditionally.

On the morning of his passing my mother called me to tell me to get to the hospital as quickly as I could.  That did not stop me from my morning rituals of lighting incense, applying body cream, pulling an oracle card, playing music and dancing for life.  Why would this day be different? Why would I not put on my prettiest clothes and prepare myself to bid my father farewell.  Although it took me less than 5 minutes to be dressed and in the car ... I didn't forget who I was or what I mean to myself.

As my dearest friend, Belinda, drove me to the hospital, I had the most precious moment with my father.  I rummaged through the CD's to find Shirley Bassey and repeatedly played the song "I am what I am" ... over and over again.  I sang at the top of my voice and spoke to my father as the traffic held us up.  I even told Belinda to calm down, as I didn't need to be by his bedside to be with him as he passed.  As the words filled my lungs and my ears, I spoke to my precious father and told him how brave he was to have fought for so long.  I shared memories and thanked him for the countless lessons.  I laughed and I cried ... I said good bye.

As I arrived at the hospital, my youngest sister was standing waiting to tell me my father had passed away about 5 minutes earlier.  I smiled and told her I had known that ... I had sung him home.

This month Greg has indulged me in dedicating "our little corner" to the man who taught me never to give up on my dreams and to never change for anyone.

Daddy ... "I am what I am" ... thanks to your unconditional love for me.

Uniquely yours

Jodene & Greg