Hi there

Our apologies for being a touch late with the September newsletter, but we can enthusiastically blame a fantastic holiday in Italy for our belated burst of inspiration. That’s only half true though, because I also have to admit my inability to settle into the message I wanted to share. I could spend hours sharing stories of the things I learned about myself, Greg and the experience of thinking I knew myself until I was thrust into the unfamiliar surroundings of a foreign country. Yet the only message I want to share with you is about someone called Ephineah (Ee-fee-nee-ah) and the lessons she taught me in the most incredible twist of fate. 

I never expected to be so captivated by the magnificence of Italy and the more I took in the history of the power of the Roman Empire, the greater my need to get back to writing.  However, the more I toyed with the idea of setting my second novel in Italy, the more I realised there was only one thing holding me back: Ephineah. She was holding tripping me up at every turn and haunting my confidence in my ability to write.

Who, you ask is Ephineah?

Ephineah took me one and a half years to write and became the fictional character that put every ounce of self worth and esteem on the line. Out of fear, I shelved the idea twice, but picked it up again, when my passion for writing won the battle.

When I read it for the final time before handing it to Greg, I cried. Some of the tears where from pride and the other’s were shed in the panic of hearing him say that I had not been bold enough and that it fell short of making the impact he knew I could make in the world.  Greg decided to bring the book with on our trip and pulled it out to read on airplanes, trains and in hotel rooms. The more I saw it, the lower my esteem sank and within a few days, the first draft of my novel was the big elephant in the room.

Prior to leaving for Italy I was asked to write a brief on the novel, for marketing purposes, and captivated the essence of the entire story in just a few sentences:

Ephineah is a story about learning to live your truth, listening to the innocence of the child within and giving your dreams the freedom to sore before your body ails under the denial of your Soul.  It is the story of listening to voices. Every one of them has a message waiting for you to pay attention and start living as though you were dreaming.

In my first few days of strolling the streets of Rome, the knowledge that my best friend and most honest critic was making his way through the pages of the book was haunting me.  I spent days attempting to strike up conversations about his opinion of it, but Greg, as the incredible friend that he is, refused to play into my low esteem. He avoided commenting and the less he said, the more I decided he hated it.

Every once in a while I would have a glimmer of self worth and reminded myself that I was born to write and that it didn’t matter if Greg absolutely hated the book, I was a writer and  I would get published. In those moment’s my Soul didn’t care much for the ramblings of my low esteem and no matter how I tried to roam the Churches and slender alleyways as a fascinated tourist, the writer in me forced itself forward at every occasion.

Ephineah tells the story of a woman, and the ailing of her body because of the denial of her life purpose and the fears she allowed to fester in her attempt at avoiding the path it would take to greatness. Ephineah, on the other hand, knows the greatness of this woman. It is the story of their relationship and the voice that never lets us fall short of our dreams.

That’s the twist of fate.

I created Ephineah and not until I doubted my own ability to write, did she awaken me to this month’s message: Ephineah is about listening to the voices.

However!

Everyone is mumbling and the voices mull into each other and echo through the world like the rustling of leaves. Everyone is mumbling, but I don’t need to. Everyone is mumbling, but you don’t need to either.

Ephineah is about hearing the voices! And the only voice we need to listen to is our own.

We mumble because we are afraid of the consequence of the words we are bursting to speak; so we say half truths, tell half stories and express half of our hopes and dreams.

I mumble because I am unsure of the response to my stories of stories of Pagan Rome, of Goddesses and of a woman who learned to heal by talking to the Ocean and dancing with the moon.  If I don’t go back to the drawing board and speak in my bold clear voice, then Ephineah will be a mumble in the world of books. If I do, then I might face criticism, disapproval or having to defend my beliefs and stand alone against the multitudes who disagree with my opinions.

Either way, unless I find my voice, I will be nothing more than a whisper when my Soul is shouting out for me to make a booming noise.

My holiday was filled with adventures I could share with you and each one of them could easily create the tapestry of life lessons I wish to convey, but that would defeat the very purpose of my message.

That is because I don’t have one.

There is nothing I can say or do that would ever shine a torch brighter than the one you hold up for yourself. No voice that echoes from my lips is more powerful than the message you have to tell yourself.  I’ll give you a clue: it’s the one you don’t want to listen to. The one that is telling you to stand up and be who you truly want to, despite the fear of loss, failure, being crucified or burned at the stake. It is the voice that is telling you, you are more! You are greatness! It is the voice of the wind that howls through night and sends all the little leaves who are mumbling, in a flurry of envy.

I finally realised that Greg didn’t have to read the first draft of the book for me to know I had been far too conservative in my writing and only once I voiced it to him did he respond to me. My friend smiled, and with compassion, he confirmed what I had known all along. This is not a question of whether I am a writer, but rather the difference between being the mumbling of the leaves or the voice of the wind.

The second edit of Ephineah begins today, with the extraction of the chapters that were not so brave and the inclusion of the controversial truths I want to share with the world. While I write mine, I encourage you to start the chapters of your own.

I cannot let the moment pass by to thank my two other dear friends who read Ephineah. Belinda and Mara, reading my story and finding it flawless has given me more gifts than you will ever know. Your love for Ephineah made it so much easier to face my challenges of the months ahead and the rewriting process and your feedback has solidified the plot, the characters and my determination to have the world meet her: Ephineah!

 

 Contemplate this …

Amongst all the noise in your head, what is your voice saying?

 

Greg’s View on YOU

Recent events in my life have brought me to a stark realisation and these events have not been limited to a particular part of my life either. I have realised that it is most important to reveal your truth to yourself and stay in integrity with yourself, because then sticking out the difficult times is less traumatic. I’ll put it in context for you by telling a story:

There is a boy who is very popular at school because he always goes out of his way to have people like him and to impress them. He busies himself with helping people with their homework, studying hard to achieve good results, doing favours for people, even some he does not even like. This keeps him happy because his need to be liked is being fulfilled. However, he still feels hollow inside and unappreciated. His efforts to help are hollow and untrue to who he his and this fuels the need to be liked even more. Eventually he finds himself surrounded by people he cannot relate to and who do not understand him…lost in the need and so lost to himself. His life is pointless and unsatisfied.

So he decides to find out who he is but the truth scares him so he stays in the hollow space he is in. However, he now knows that this space is not his truth, even though he doesn’t fully understand what his truth is. This is enough to trigger change, which culminates in depression. Everything at this time appears dark and upsetting leading to irrational thoughts and random emotion. He is truly feeling lost to himself.

Yet there is a spark…a pilot light burning deep within him, guiding and comforting him. He has a choice: remain in the space he is in and continue to be plagued by the glimmer and spend his time dodging it, or turn to the light and ignite the flame. He chooses the flame.

His truth becomes clearer over time and all along he experiences events in his life that appear to discredit this truth. They are difficult times that lead to doubt, concern, upset and discomfort. Yet the flame is intriguing; he is mesmerised by its light and so he continues to follow it.

Now, years down the path, he is faced with situations that involve sabotage of his work, a broken heart and financial insecurity, yet he remains calm. His reactions are not explosive, nasty and vengeful. He is driven by purpose; a knowing that is now a raging fire that no amount of darkness can put out. Despite the chaos he sees peace. Despite what people are saying and doing around him, he knows with defiant certainty that the flame is all that matters and, because the flame burns so deep within him, it cannot be taken away. Although he may be discredited and heartsore, his path remains true…to himself and his purpose.

Never give up on you. It is the one thing that can never be taken away. And don’t be concerned that you may not have found your pilot light because it is there, burning faithfully, waiting for you to turn up the gas when you are ready. You will know when you are ready and it will be a time when you are cold and miserable for that is when the need for warmth is greatest; a warmth that will come from within.

Once again I give credit to my friends at TUT… A note from the Universe for this inspirational message: “No matter how things appear; no matter what you've overheard; and no matter how many people think otherwise... nothing can stop you, no one can hurt you, and you and I still have forever and ever”. You’re in your truth, just stop lying to yourself.

 

Personal Development Courses

Sex and intimacy plays a prominent role in our lives, as does the status of our relationships. Of all the situations we face, relating takes its biggest toll on our esteem. It is virtually impossible to box esteem and if it has been damaged due to the lack of a healthy personal relationship to sex, it has the potential to send a ripple effect of failure through all areas of our lives.

Jodene is constantly called upon to offer assistance to her clients in the arena of sex and intimacy and has finally launched her long awaited talks

Ignite the passion within - awakening the sexual being

Secretly, countless individuals suffer the silent war with sex and battle to find fulfilment or express their desires and needs. Our bodies were designed to enjoy these pleasures, yet we have shattered our feelings of worth and lost the essence it takes to totally fulfil our sexual appetites.

This course, for women, awakens a joyous journey into the discovery of how beautiful, sexy and alive you truly are. It will teach you how to ignite the flame deep within and give you the tools to overcome the obstacles that stand between you and a truly orgasmic sex life.

Cost: R250

Date: Tuesday 20th October 2009

Time: 19:15 for 19:30 to 22:30

Connection and intimacy - breaking barriers within sexual relationships

Communication, chemistry and commitment are the three C’s of a truly powerful intimate relationship. Without the confidence to express fears or desires, and if the needs of the individuals are not met, a sexual relationship is in jeopardy.  Our self esteem is battered because we do not communicate or explore our own boundaries and the fear of failure puts unnecessary strain on the beautiful art of sex and love making.

Ladies, this course shares the tools to speaking, exploring and enjoying the adventures between you and your sexual partner. It closes the doors to uncertainty and opens the floodgates to fun and passion and a lasting sexual relationship.

Cost: R250

Date: Tuesday 27th October 2009-10-02

Time: 19:15 for 19:30 to 22:30

Set your sex life on fire - introducing play, passion and adventure

There is no greater playground than the body, yet so many of us hold back on letting go and having fun with the adventures of sex. Secretly, many of us would love to add spice and a dash of dare into the mix. Jodene is very aware that confidence is key and shares tips to boost the esteem and surprise your lover with passionately adventurous and fun evening and even days.

This course helps ladies take control of the flame and gives great ideas that will have your men giving up rounds of golf and drinks with the boys for. 

Cost: R250

Date: Tuesday 29th October 2009-10-02

Time: 19:15 for 19:30 to 22:30

 

With love from our voices  

Jodene & Greg